Dear Grace...I have great news!

Today is a momentous day in history. Well, my history. Today is the day I opened my email inbox and saw these words: ENCOUNTER Acceptance.

My first publication where I get paid for putting my experiences into words. The editor even wrote, “We’d like to purchase “Free to Struggle” to publish,” as if I were doing them a favor! It was the most exhilarating feeling: They want me work. They want to pay me for my work. I’m an author! Wait, no—really? Am I? Does this count?

I’m still trying to decide.

I sent ENCOUNTER a piece in April about my experience as a member of a Frisbee team. It was dry and superfluous, lacking heart and impact (kind of like the experience, I suppose), and I wasn’t surprised it was rejected. I sent four other pieces in the following five months, and went to China with the hope of gleaning some writing material.

I did glean material, but not what I imagined. Going to another culture revealed some dangerous habits in my life that had been festering for at least twelve months and started to surface there, refusing to budge when I returned to the States. The piece is a testimonial about an eating disorder that might’ve sucked me into a secret hole of discontentment and guilt, had the Lord not been faithful in uprooting my idols.

His grace allowed me to see the signs and get help. His grace allowed me to struggle against temptation. His grace offered me forgiveness when I gave in. When I decided yesterday that writing is my calling and gave my boss notice, his grace appeared today in that acceptance email with the reassurance that he will provide for me. I am thankful for and worshipful of His faithfulness in things big and small!

Tomorrow I will have to come down to earth. The long nights and short deadlines, the writer’s block and painful transparency yet to come will be steady reminders that this calling is not always euphoria and contracts.

But there is grace for that, too. :)

(“Free to Struggle” will be published in Fall 2014, and I will put the link up after it’s printed, as I no longer own first rights!)