Marriage Isn't for Me, Dating Isn't for Me

Yesterday I read a blog post by Seth Adam Smith who says, "Having been married a year and a half, I've recently come to the conclusion that marriage isn't for me." I didn't understand why all my friends were sharing it on Facebook until I read further and captured his real meaning: marriage is for the other person.

While I am not married, I think his premise can be applied to the dating scene, especially since I believe dating should be an avenue to tying the knot. A year has passed since my embarkment of exploration on that wobbly gangplank called dating. At that auspicious time, the walkway eluded to journeying, adventuring, and treasure. I didn't think about getting lost en route, thwarting weather, or sea sickness. I quickly learned that not every ship makes its destination.

My well-intended philosophy of dating-maps-a-route-to-marriage was run-aground, and I thought it was my own failure as a crewman. During those months and the year that followed, Smith's philosophy never occurred to me. In hindsight, it probably wasn't my panic attacks, stress, doubt, or other uncontrollable things that steered the ship into the rocks. It was my own selfishness.

You know the breakup phrase, "It's not you, it's me." Well, you're on the second star to the right and straight on til morning. It is you. It is me. Our own selfishness. Our entering a relationship (of any kind) with the mentality that this adventure and all the treasure in it is for me. Even a sharing mentality won't work. You seem like a good mate for this adventure, let's split the treasure fifty-fifty...

Just imagining what the adventure would look like if I signed on thinking, this is all for you--you can have all the treasure and I will be the second mate, here to serve you is incredibly freeing. It frees me from the fear of sinking the ship during sea sickness and bad weather. Because those things are inevitable on a journey. But I'm able to weather the storm when I've taken the focus off me and puts it where it should've been all along--on him. And I can work harder than any other shiphand to achieve selflessness, but I only have the grace to do that when my compass is Him, the greatest Captain.

All that mused, weigh anchor and go serve your mate!